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1Sir,
2
3Extremely I
deplore2
your loss:4You’re like
Cheapside without a cross3
,5Or like a dial and no
gnomon4
;6In pity (trust me) I think no man
7But would his leg or arm expose
8To cut you out another nose;
9Nor of the female sex there’s none
10
But’ld5
be one flesh, though not one bone6
.11I, though unknown, would
slight7
the pain12That you might have so great a gain.
13Nay, any fool, did he know it,
14Would give his nose to have your wit,
15And I myself would do the same,
16Did I not fear ’twould
blur my fame8
.17I, as once said a
gallant9
dame,18My nose would
venture10
, not my fame;19For who but that
bright eye11
above20Would know ’twere charity, not love.
21Then, sir, your pardon I must beg;
22Excuse my nose,
accept my leg12
.23But yet, be sure both night and day
24For me, as for yourself, you pray;
25For if I first should chance to go
26To visit those
sad shades13
below,27As my frail flesh there putrefies,
28Your nose, no doubt, will sympathize.
29But this I fear: lest that
blind boy14
30Which fate
descends15
(yet such a toy16
31May take the
chit17
) should shoot again,32
Then the next loss would be your brain.18
33Some coy young lass you might adore,
34Which would prefer some base
Medore19
,35And all your wit and titles slight:
36Embrace a page before a knight.
37Then should some noble-minded friend,
38
Astolfo-like20
, to heaven ascend,39And having searchéd near and far
40And found your most capacious jar,
41Then being, with joy, returned again
42You could not then snuff up your brain:
43Though all your strength you should expose
44You want the organ called a nose.
45
Prodigious21
, the knight remains46Without
or22
nose, or fame, or brains.47Then a
bold ordinance23
struck the title off;48Thus the proud
Parcae24
sit, and at us scoff.49What now remains? The man at least?
50No, surely nothing left but beast.
51Then royal favor glued it on again,
52And now the knight is
bow-dyed and ingrain25
.53Then trample not that honor in the dust
54
In being a slave to those are slaves to lust.26