1Sir,

2

3Extremely I

deplore2

your loss:

4You’re like

Cheapside without a cross3

,

5Or like a dial and no

gnomon4

;

6In pity (trust me) I think no man

7But would his leg or arm expose

8To cut you out another nose;

9Nor of the female sex there’s none

10

But’ld5

be

one flesh, though not one bone6

.

11I, though unknown, would

slight7

the pain

12That you might have so great a gain.

13Nay, any fool, did he know it,

14Would give his nose to have your wit,

15And I myself would do the same,

16Did I not fear ’twould

blur my fame8

.

17I, as once said a

gallant9

dame,

18My nose would

venture10

, not my fame;

19For who but that

bright eye11

above

20Would know ’twere charity, not love.

21Then, sir, your pardon I must beg;

22Excuse my nose,

accept my leg12

.

23But yet, be sure both night and day

24For me, as for yourself, you pray;

25For if I first should chance to go

26To visit those

sad shades13

below,

27As my frail flesh there putrefies,

28Your nose, no doubt, will sympathize.

29But this I fear: lest that

blind boy14

30Which fate

descends15

(yet such a

toy16

31May take the

chit17

) should shoot again,

32

Then the next loss would be your brain.18

33Some coy young lass you might adore,

34Which would prefer some base

Medore19

,

35And all your wit and titles slight:

36Embrace a page before a knight.

37Then should some noble-minded friend,

38

Astolfo-like20

, to heaven ascend,

39And having searchéd near and far

40And found your most capacious jar,

41Then being, with joy, returned again

42You could not then snuff up your brain:

43Though all your strength you should expose

44You want the organ called a nose.

45

Prodigious21

, the knight remains

46Without

or22

nose, or fame, or brains.

47Then a

bold ordinance23

struck the title off;

48Thus the proud

Parcae24

sit, and at us scoff.

49What now remains? The man at least?

50No, surely nothing left but beast.

51Then royal favor glued it on again,

52And now the knight is

bow-dyed and ingrain25

.

53Then trample not that honor in the dust

54

In being a slave to those are slaves to lust.26